Friday, October 23, 2009

I'm not a baby anymore....

This morning I was helping my 6-year old daughter get dressed as we were in a hurry. She is a bit of a slow poke and so if we want it done quickly we have to help her. She has school pictures today, so we had chosen a green striped turtleneck sweater for her to wear. As I pulled the sweater over her head I said, "Where's Makayla?" and then when her face appeared I said "There she is." She quickly replied, "Mom, I have not a baby anymore. That is something you say to babies."

I was shocked and even though I realized she is 6-years old, I didn't expect that kind of response from her. To be honest I almost cried. She is growing up so fast. This morning I looked at some older pictures of her. What a cutie she is (not that I am biased). As I took a walk down memory lane I found pictures of her taking pony riding lessons 2 summers ago. She had a great time. I took lunch early so she and I could do it together. We got to brush, saddle, and ride the ponies. She was just going into Kindergarten then. How much she has changed. Not only in how she looks, but in the things she says. I catch myself laughing sometimes as she tries to use the "big words" and sometimes doesn't use them quite correctly.

I must admit I miss my baby. Even though my son is only 20 months only, he really isn't even a baby anymore. I guess I will have to take joy in cuddling other people's babies. This means getting over my fear of holding other people’s babies. I know you may think that sounds strange as I have had two babies myself, but I am afraid I will somehow hurt someone else's baby. It is kind of a paralyzing fear and prevents me from holding any children under the age of about 6 months. So in order for me to enjoy little ones again, I will have to "conquer" this fear.

My babies are growing up! Every stage in their life is a joy, but there are days I miss just being able to hold them in silence and enjoy the peace that surrounded us.

2 comments: October 23, 2009 at 10:56 AM  

So very bittersweet and the first of many more "I'm a big girl" things. Enjoy it all...time flies by so quickly.

sarahbri October 23, 2009 at 4:33 PM  

If you want to get over your fear with my baby you can :) But if not, I won't be offended!

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